


silence (and now i just sit)

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Dementia, Future Fic, M/M, Old Tyler, Retirement, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:17:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4259598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>prompt: "Imagine Tyler Joseph old and alone, living in a retirement home. The band has been over with for 60 years and Josh and Tyler lost touch almost that long ago."<br/>This story is basically composed of Tyler telling his stories, from 'back in the day' to workers that are only there to make sure he's still breathing, and writing about it as much as he can to keep an imprint on the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Probably will be more tags as I go along. Also, this is a joshler fic but they probably will never see each other face to face in this. Also, it's probably best to note that Jenna does not exist in this, for plot purposes. I love Jenna Joseph with my entire being so definitely count on the fact that it's nothing personal toward her.

"Alright, Mr. Joseph. It's time for your medicine."

Tyler reached for his cane, sitting up in the recliner. He made way for the worker and she shook her head. 

"No, sir, I'll bring it to you." She smiled at him kindly, but the smile was forced. She was bored and, going by the bags under her eyes, exhausted. 

Tyler sat back with a huff, kind of miffed that he wasn't allowed to do simple things himself anymore. She brought him over the medicine and a small glass of water, and he took it without complaint as she began to take his blood pressure. 

"So how was your night, Mr. Joseph?" she asked. "Did you sleep well?" Tyler smiled to himself, thinking of the dreams he had through the night, mostly consisting of the days he made music and traveled the world with his best friend.

"Yes, ma'am. I slept very well, how about you? I hope you got in plenty of rest." He wanted to keep the conversation light, because he new her job was hard and she probably didn't want to be there.

"Not hardly," she said with a sigh and another forced smile. "I got called in to take over at around midnight again. One of the trainees didn't show up. It isn't the first time," she added disdainfully. 

Tyler tried to show as much sympathy as he could, "I'm sorry about that, dear, I-"

But the woman talked right over him, getting heated up over the topic. "I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I work so often and I rarely see my children. We just adopted again, you know, before we knew how much trouble I'd have with this damn job I-" She glanced down at Tyler's slightly raised eyebrows and sighed to herself, giving him a small smile. "I'm so sorry, sir. As much as I enjoy the patients here, it all seems to get a bit too much sometimes."

Tyler nodded understandingly. He couldn't imagine living his life doing something he wasn't passionate about. Even after the band he was still writing and expressing himself and helping other people, even if he never married.

 "Plus, me and David, my husband, aren't doing so well, all this tension and raising Lucille and Charlie (our children) and..." Tyler began to zone out of the conversation, his mind flowing to so many old places that it rarely explored, triggered by the thought of being passionate in what you do.

He was brought out of thought by the worker asking, "Mr. Joseph? Are you alright?"

He smiled warmly at her. "Yes, ma'am. I'm doing just fine. Can I give you a bit of advice?"

She grinned and looked at her watch. "I guess so, but hurry it up," she said lightly. "I'll have to check on Mr. Parker in a few minutes."

Tyler nodded slowly, composing his thoughts and forming just what he wanted to say to her. "Remember, uhm," he immediately felt bad for not exactly knowing her name. 

"Linda," she grinned, probably just brushing it off because of his old age. It was expected.

"Remember, Linda, to always love what you do. If this isn't you're favorite thing in the world and you quit, you won't be judged in the long run. Do what makes you happy."

Linda smiled, but sighed soon after. "How would I live with myself if I did, though? I've kind of gotten attached to you guys. The guilt would eat me alive."

Tyler laughed. "Dear, we will be alright. Your well-being is so much more important to you." He suddenly grinned to himself, a gleam catching in his eyes. "Remember, sometimes to stay alive, you've got to kill your mind."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "My, goodness Mr. Joseph. That seems kind of morbid. Where did you get that?"

Tyler immediately felt a pang of sadness and regret, missing the days where there were thousands of people who understand what he said and related well to it. He missed being able to really express himself without people being surprised to hear those words come from an old man's mouth.

"Nevermind that, Laura. Don't you have to go check on Mr. Parker or whomever?" 

"Linda," she corrected with a smile. "And you're certainly right. Have a nice day Mr. Joseph."

 

Long after Linda was gone, Tyler sat in his recliner and thought to himself. He thought about his life, now and then, and love. How different would it have been if he would have gotten married, and adopted children? Would his outlook on life have been any different? Would he have been happier than he was in this life? Would he even be in this home right now?

As he thought about this, he found himself reaching for a pen and paper. He closed his eyes softly, took a deep breath, and began to write, because, honestly, if no one here wanted to listen to his stories, he'd tell them to himself. Maybe somebody would find use of them after he was gone for good.

 ~~_I was in a band. We were called twenty one pilots._ ~~ _Me and my best friend spent 25 years trying to make the world a better place._

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A LOT OF MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN TELLING ME THIS MADE THEM CRY AND I'M SO SORRY THAT WAS NOT MY GOAL HERE BUT THERE'S NO STOPPING NOW  
> joshler in this chapter but only in flashback form

Tyler spent the next three day's free time writing. He felt so many buried emotions rising to the surface the more he wrote, tears brimming his eyes more than once through the entire ordeal. But he was still burdened with the thought that now that he was older, he was no longer able to help people like he used to. He thought about that day with Linda and how he tried to help her and give her advice. She just brushed it off because he was an old man who couldn't walk himself to the restroom.

He wanted to be able to help people again. His mind was brimming with ideas as he sat in his recliner, eyes closed and an old CD playing in the background. One of his old albums, to be specific.

It was Blurryface, and as he listened, the memories and emotions began to flow through his mind like a river. 

_-_

It was May 17, 2015, and Tyler locked his phone with a click.

"What did you say?" Josh asked, referring to the tweet Tyler just made. Tyler smiled to himself.

"Don't act like you don't have tweet notifications set for me," there was a gleam in his eye as Josh's phone gave a tiny vibrate against the the coffee table in front of the couch.

" _'Another piece of my soul is now on the internet,'"_ Josh read out, his eyes crinkling with his smile. "I like it."

 Tyler could only stare. Josh's smile was captivating like always. 

"Thanks, me too." Tyler found himself saying, and he was thinking about Blurryface and how the fans would react, but he wasn't  _thinking_ and he was leaning forward toward Josh, and they were too fricking close anyway, how did Josh expect nothing to happen and-

"Guys, this is  _sick!_ " Mark turned the corner and stopped abruptly. "Uh. Hope I'm not interrupting anything?"

Tyler and Josh shared a look and Tyler's heart dropped to his stomach. The mix of panic and relief in Josh's eyes was unmistakable. He was _happy_ that Mark had interrupted. He heard Josh explaining to Mark that, no, he hadn't disturbed anything.

Tyler sat and listened to Mark ramble on about a new music video, but none of the information would stick in Tyler's head. The amount of guilt and regret flooding through his body was enough to drown out anything else. He took deep breaths and tried to repress it. It was hard to focus on anything but Josh and the look of panic in his eyes before they were interrupted. Tyler hadn't even known what had got into him, all the excitement from Blurryface was enough to drive anyone crazy.

When Josh tentatively questioned Tyler about the scene later in the day, Tyler blamed it on sleep deprivation.

-

Now, in the present, there were tears streaming down Tyler's face. His breathing was ragged, worse than before, and his thoughts were bouncing back and forth like someone just threw a bouncy ball into an empty room. He felt someone shaking him and he heard wheezing which seemed to be coming from his own mouth.

"Mr. Joseph, are you with us? Focus on your breathing, sir," a man's voice said, and Tyler focused on those familiar brown eyes before he went unconscious. 

 

He woke up later in the back of an ambulance, an oxygen mask strapped to his face. He ripped it off quickly, 

"What am I doing here?" He looked around for someone to give him an answer. 

"You seem to have passed out, Mr. Joseph." And all the memories came flooding back, the writing, the panic attack, those brown eyes full of concern. 

Before he could stop himself he blurted out "Josh! Is he here?" He tried to sit up quickly but a male nurse held him down. No one answered him, instead they were looking at him, concerned and confused.

He heard murmuring toward the end of the ambulance, by his feet. "You know... he's been showing other signs of dementia as well." 

Tyler's eyes widened, appalled. "It was just a panic attack, I don't see the point of any of this!" 

The male nurse looked at him with kind eyes. "Sir, you have to understand, you're 86 years old. We can't take any chances."

"Screw that!" Tyler was getting angry now, hurriedly trying to sit up in the moving ambulance. The nurses quickly jumped into action, pinning him down. "Let me live my goddamn life! Let me _have_ a goddamn life!" He was screaming things now, things that made no sense to the workers but made enough sense to him.

"-And I have to tell Josh! I have to tell Josh that I... I..." His eyes closed as the the sedative given to him entered his bloodstream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :) leave a kudos and maybe some suggestions??????  
> Also, side note, i'm sorry for the late update. I know i said i would update regularly but a lot has been happening with my life this week (and not for the best.) So i can't say how soon the next chapter will be posted but if you would hang in here with me i'd really appreciate it! :)  
> also, good facts to know after reading this, there are many different side effects to many different types of dementia, and some of them include general confusion, mood swings, etc. which coincidentally are the things tyler experiences here... i'm so sorry  
> have a nice day guys and drink plenty of water and don't forget to take any medicine you may have to take.  
> |-/

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :) chapters should be up regularly!! Leave a comment if you have any requests for how the story would go PLEASE and also leave a kudos if you liked it?  
> Stay alive |-/


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